How I wish I was not me

This pain between my heart and stomach never seems to disappear.

It is less apparent when I am in your arms.

But as soon as I am alone and I have time to think it's like a spear.

Thrown from my head down through my heart and lodging itself in my guts.

It would all be so much easier if I could just forget, not her, not you, nothing but me.

I wish I could forget all about me and how I fuck everything up.

I wish I could forget how I can never do anything how I can never say what is needed.

Oh how life would be if I weren't me.

With no feeling of responsibility over all these blind little clones.

With the ability to cry and hate and love without feeling guilty.

I have you now and this is all that matters, or at least thats what I know.

But I still feel like I cannot be happy until everyone is.

You, them, even her.

You are more than I deserve but I just don't know HOW to feel.

When nothing is forever how can I forget that we are not either.

I just want to be able to live, love and forget.

Forget about the instability of life, the transient nature of love and the knowledge that even forgetting is only temporary.

Oh, how I wish I was not me.