Perceptions on Life

At times one finds them self at a point where death seems a wiser choice.
However when it all boils down, love and joy are worth more than anything in the entire universe, including knowledge (this fact is what keeps me living)

I perceive life as somewhat of a game.
One where I try to get to the end by following all those(unwritten)rules, having as much fun as I can and learning as much about it as possible, to make sure that next time I play, I am better than before.

Love and What it Does to Ones mind

Why is it that people who don't deserve it, get it?
Everywhere I look I see complete wankers getting what they want. Whilst I am left to be trampled over by all those who I care for.
Be it wealth, opportunity or Love I cant escape the feeling that my life is one big joke.

My girlfriend recently broke up with me for some guy called Cris.
The thing is she was the only thing in my life that mattered.
Now I have no motivation at all. I have stopped going to tafe because of my increased anxiety, stopped going to work because I don't see the point in money if I can't spend it on her and I have lost the ability to recognise my emotions.

I see people everywhere together being "in love" but now I ask what is love?
I used to think that she was the one, the one I seek in every lifetime, the one my soul is drawn to no matter what. But can love be one sided?

She says we are still friends.
Does anyone know how much it hurts to go from being the love of someones life to being their friend?

And what now?
Do I still try and be with her? It would make me happy, but what about her? Is she happier with him? Do I even love her or am I just confused?